I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
