Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
