It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
