i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My hand turned me down
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
