Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
