dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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