U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
