people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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