if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
