Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
