it wasn't lemon gatorade
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
