Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
