Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
