And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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