Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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