Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
