I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
