Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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