so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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