There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
