they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
