Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
