We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i may or may not be watching the land before time
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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