So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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