They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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