No, you can still breathe under the balls.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Randomize
