He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
