Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
