ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
His nipple licking is glorious
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