Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
