Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
