sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
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