Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
