mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
