my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
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