you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
