I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
