She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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