no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
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