One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
if only i could text you this smell
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
