In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
