i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
