Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She told me I should be a condom model.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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