R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just threw up on my dentist
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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