i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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