If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
