On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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