just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Randomize
