Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
third nipple confirmed
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
