yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
