Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
