Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
found the other keg... it's in the tree
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
